A wacky birth story

Baby #2 has arrived! We finally decided on a name: Jonathan. And since people like to creep on the internet, and women like to tell birth stories, I'm going to share mine.

Just as background, I'm one of those pre-term labor people. Some might say I have an irritable uterus (it goes nicely with my irritable personality). I start to get contractions around 19 or 20 weeks and I keep getting them all the way to the end. My doctor decided not to check my cervix at 36 weeks so as not to stir the pot and cause me to dilate unnecessarily early.

And there was much rejoicing.

So on I went with life, la la la, and I hit 37 weeks.

And then I realized we were buying a house. I had to pack up all our crap again and get it moved. Enter my super amazing mother-in-law who you should be jealous of. She literally dropped everything to flew out to help us the day after we called her to ask for help.

We tried to convince her that it wasn't necessary for her to come the very next day, but she insisted. She arrived at 5 the following day. And man I'm super grateful that she did because not 12 hours later my water broke.

It was one of those "I think I peed my pants" moments. (I know you have those moments) I got up and went to the bathroom, puzzled about why my pants were wet, but my bladder was still full. -- Hey, it was 4:55 a.m., give me a break. I decided it would be a good idea to consult the internet about what it was like for your water to break, so I went back to my bed to get my phone. As I leaned over to grab it I felt an unmistakable gush. I promptly woke my husband up.

Because I'm an idiot and forgot I was Group B Strep positive we took our sweet time. What was the rush? I wasn't even having any contractions and nothing was hurting.

My husband was all "Do I have time to take a shower?"

and I was all "Pff, of course, I'm putting my make up on first any way." Then after letting my Mother-in-law know we were leaving, we were all like, "We should get gas because the tank is almost on 'E'."

As we meandered up to the hospital, the contractions were getting more painful and closer together. When we got into triage the nurse asked me if I wanted an epidural and I said, "

I don't know :B"

but what I really should have said was, "Yes. Absolutely. Get me the anesthesiologist RIGHT NOW!" because after the nurse finally got around to checking me I was dilated to 5.5 cm and then it was like she set off a bomb because, I kid you not, 10 minutes later I was pushing that little stinker out.

No epidural, no antibiotics, ain't nobody got time for that. The doctor barely had time to run in and catch the little guy. And you know, it's a good thing your body just takes over because in my mind I was all "No! no! no! I need an epidural!" and my body was all, "Shut it. We're doing this thing!"

So let's keep track of the lessons learned from this pregnancy/delivery:

1. Cervical checks are a no-no for me if I want to make it to at least 37 weeks.
2. Starting at 36 weeks all showers should be taken at night. 
3. Hospital Bag should be prepacked by 35 weeks, complete with it's own set of make-up to be done in the car on the way.
4. Also starting at 35 weeks no car should be allowed to have less than a half a tank of gas.
5. Remember, YOU WANT AN EPIDURAL! Only you won't know you want one until you're in transition.
6. Hurry those little nurses along so you can get out of triage and into L&D (so you can get your epidural already).

Now, enjoy a picture of this adorable baby.